Why I am Scarred Beautiful

You walk through those double doors, adrenaline pumping through your veins, constantly worrying if you’re the next victim. High school is all fun and games til someone gets hurt, right? Well I currently am living in this reality. I take precaution as I turn every corner in the hallways hoping that I won’t be the victim today. People are cruel. Not only will they knock you down but they will keep going even when you don’t have anything left.

The scary thing about being in high school is that you can look at someone, watch them smile, watch them laugh and not even know they are suffering inside. No one expresses themselves anymore because they are terrified of the repercussions it might have after they spill what is on their mind and the ones suffering the most wonder, why me? Why did they have to choose me to hurt?

Yeah we can ask them if they are okay, tell them to open up, but what you don’t know is that they have heard that over a million times in their life and someone let them down every time. So one more friendly face isn’t gonna change that.

Every morning is the same battle, walking through those doors wondering who will be next? Who will have to deal with the shame today? It shouldn’t be like this, we all shouldn’t have to suffer like this. But I mean, it is just high school right? What can someone say that could hurt you so badly?

So I sit there watching everyone on social media lurking and laughing. Laughing at what though? A witty post? Or making fun of someone that actually had the courage to post something that made them feel confident about themselves? The battle online is only one of many we have to deal with.

At one point in my time in high school I could barely look at myself in the mirror, barely able to find the beauty within myself. People made it so hard for me to be confident and love myself. I would always ask, why me? Why do you have to choose me? Always having your flaws pointed out isn’t something you can just roll off your back especially if you’re still working on loving yourself. The toughest battle faced in high school is learning to love yourself, learning to accept who you are.

But now I know that I am beautiful. Being beautiful isn’t just your appearance. Being beautiful is being selfless, beautiful is being accepting and beautiful is making the ones around you confident in who they are as well. I may have scars on my wrist, I may have scars on my heart but that… That is exactly what makes me Scarred Beautiful.

-written by Anabel